Bad Jokes and Scary Good Wine

SpookySome years ago, I tried to become a ghostwriter. But I couldn’t find any ghosts who wanted me to write for them.


That’s one of those bad jokes that, thankfully, you usually hear only around Halloween time. In case you hadn’t noticed, there are a whole lot of packages of miniature candy piled up on the shelves of your neighborhood supermarket and drug store right now.

Bad Halloween jokes got me thinking about wine jokes, and I came to realize that there aren’t a whole lot of wine jokes out there. Wine-related cartoons? Yes. Wine jokes? Not so much.

In fact, I can think of only a couple off the top of my head…

* What happened when the farmer stepped on the grape? He let out a little wine.

* What is a pirate’s favorite wine? Pinot Noirrrrrrrrrrr.

No doubt about it: No matter how bad they may be, there are far more Halloween jokes than wine jokes.

How about this one…

Vampire No. 1: “I once went so long without fresh blood that I nearly died.”

Vampire No. 2: “How awful.”

Vampire No. 1: “Yes. Fortunately, I found some in the neck of time.”

VampireWinesAs bad as Halloween and wine jokes may be, amazing things can happen when you mix that most scary “holiday” with our favorite adult beverage. I’m talking about Vampire wines, which Vinesse has been featuring for years.

In fact, Vampire wines are on sale this week to help you stock up for the occasion. Check out the 6 bottle sampler here.

Much as I tried, I could not think of a single joke that combines Halloween and wine. But this one comes close…

Two vampires walked into a bar and called for the bartender.

“I’ll have a glass of blood,” said one.

“I’ll have a glass of plasma,” said the other.

“Okay,” replied the bartender, “that’ll be one Blood and one Blood Light.


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